Brothers
by li-flower
Summary: What Ed and Al share goes deeper than blood and experiences. What does it truly mean to be brothers? Two part fic from their POV.
1. Otouto

**Long A/N**: First, I want to thank all the reviewers of my Roy/Riza songfice: oOo-Hiya-oOo, flOofymikO, Hawkeye Chuui, C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only, MoonStarDutchess, Demon Slaying Hanyou, SapphireSteel, ShadowFlareon, kimmy, and Arrieth.

Secondly, this is a 2-part fic, inspired by the Fullmetal Alchemist panel at Shiokazecon (hosted by Ed's VA Vic Mignogna) and the song "Brothers." I love both the English and Russian versions, and the lyrics really touched me since I'm an older sibling myself. Also, I decided to use the Japanese words for brothers in the chapter titles because I find it really neat that Japanese (and Chinese) has words that specifically mean "older brother" and "younger brother." The distinction is important especially in a fic like this.

Finally, I would like to dedicate this story to Vic Mignogna, who had me tearing up with a touching Ed monologue and little rendition of "Brothers," and my own little brother, Eric. --Hana Li

**Disclaimer**: Fullmetal Alchemist or either versions of the song "Brothers" do not belong to me. However, my interpretation on the theme does.

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**Brothers**

_Otouto_

Al, did I ever tell you how sorry I am? It's my fault for dragging you into this mess, and therefore, I am the one who took your body. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve your love, but I don't know what I'd do without you.

I am weak. Forever fixated on things I cannot fix myself, I wind up playing the fool. A little embarrassment I can handle, but when I hurt those around me, I can't deal. That's how I always am. I can never accept the truth so I have to go out and try to fix it—make it acceptable for me. I'm the one with a God complex. However, I'm only mortal so the more I try to correct my mistakes, the worse I make them. Then I have to drag everyone down with me because I lack the gall to confront my sins on my own.

When we were little, Mom would always ask me to look out for you. How am I supposed to do that when I can't even take care of myself? Even worse, I just end up hurting you. I'm a selfish, cowardly, poor excuse of an older brother.

You're all that I have though, and you're the only one who truly understands me. No one else comes close—not the Colonel, not Teacher, not Winry. Everything that we've been through. . . if there's one good thing that came out of it, it's that I learned the true meaning of being brothers. I don't see you as the annoying, softhearted little brother that got taller than me like I used to. No, you're the blood in my veins, the missing piece to my life, the soul that makes me human.

I'm glad you haven't wound up like me, Al. A part of you remains innocent, untainted by my blasphemy. That's why I can't let you be a dog of the military. I'll do the dirty work since my hands are already stained. You can still be whomever you want, and I'm going to make sure you have a future.

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm an idiot for trying to get our bodies back. There I go again, trying to fix things, but this time, I'm not doing it for myself. That's what gives me hope to keep on trying.

If only we had swapped places. . . I should've been the one that lost his body. Still, I wouldn't want to have inflicted the pain of seeing your brother get taken away by God knows what. Believe me when I say I would've given everything to have you back. You should've been worth more than just my leg. That's why I'll do whatever it takes to restore your body. It might be a selfish desire, but it's the best that I can do to make things up to you.

I know I don't tell you this enough, but I love you, little brother.


	2. Oniisan

**A/N: **Tobu Ishi gets the credit for writing the beautiful English version of "Brothers." Her name is rarely mentioned so I thought I'd give her mad props here. Also, I would like to thank pyromoogle for reviewing the first part of this fic. Now hopefully I can pull off Al's POV (it's easier with Ed because we have a lot in common). I've tried to make the 2 sections mirror one another. It was quite a challenge getting the word count (minus the notes of course) to be exactly the same. –Hana Li

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fullmetal Alchemist_ or either version of the song "Brothers."

* * *

**Brothers**

_Oniisan_

Ed, don't blame yourself. It took the two of us to create that abomination with Mom's face so let me take some of the burden away from you. I know as the older one, you're supposed to take care of me, but let's get through this together. Although our love for Mom got twisted into something horrible, I don't fear that our brotherly bond will ever be anything but pure and true.

I am the one who is weak. Deep down inside, I knew that what we were going against the laws of nature yet I couldn't resist the thought of bringing Mom back. Don't make it seem as though you forced me into helping you perform a human transmutation. You may have been the one who came up with the idea, but we are equally guilty in our actions. No, I am the worse sinner. I practiced forbidden alchemy despite knowing that it was wrong. That night, I had a gut feeling that something was going to go awry, but I didn't say anything. I am the worse soul because I did not have the power make things right.

You've done so much for me already. I can't imagine what you went through to get my soul back, and now you plan on doing whatever it takes to return my body to me, even if it means being a part of the organization that was responsible for the death of Winry's parents. How can I ever repay you? I don't want you to stain your hands with blood. I don't want you to risk your life for my sake. My body isn't worth it because nothing is more valuable than life.

But I do want my body back. Is that selfish of me? I want to be human again and to know the pain you have to go through each day. I want to feel what you feel so that you don't have to suffer for the both of us. Right now I'm just an empty suit of armor. I want to be your brother again.

It's okay to cry sometimes, Brother, because you're still a kid like me. We've lost a lot of our innocence, but you still have your emotions. However, I don't want you to be sad for me. I've forgiven you long ago. Anyway, brothers have to stick together, right? I know you want to be strong for me, but sometimes the little brother has to take care of the elder one.

Let's make a deal, huh? You can get my body back, and I'll get you your arm and leg. If we try hard enough, I know we can fix things. While we may be insignificant humans, we've endured enough to prove how strong we are. I'll find the power within this current form to help you. Then, one day, we can go back to being a family.

I always be by your side because I love you, Big Brother.


End file.
